Trans survey-takers ran into a glitch recently when an otherwise inclusive organization posted an online survey targeted to LGBT people and dealing with discrimination, employment, violence, and other issues important to the community.
When some trans people chose the answer “Straight” under the sexual-orientation category, they received a polite message saying, in effect, that they could not complete the survey, because it was not for straight people. Of course, the problem was immediately remedied after the first complaint, but some damage might have already been done.
It is possible that several straight trans people tried to take the survey before the problem was discovered and just gave up, meaning that their voices would not be heard and counted. It is also possible that they left the website feeling alienated from an organization and a community that claims to be inclusive.
Trans sexual orientation often gets lost in the mix, and there are variety of reasons for this. The most obvious is when “Transgender” is included in a survey under the category of “Sexual Orientation.” But that wasn’t the case with this survey, and that isn’t the only reason why our sexual orientation seems to vanish like my potential dates.
My sexual orientation might disappear because I’m not getting any at the moment, but I think there are at least three primary reasons why our sexuality gets lost in the shuffle.
1. We are the “T” in LGBT. Yeah, I know – I argue for our inclusion whenever I can. And I still believe that it is appropriate and necessary. But it is not without problems. Transgender is not a sexual orientation, and it is absolutely necessary for LGB”T” organizations to recognize that there are straight-identified trans people, and that there are couples that consist of one or two trans people who may appear to be “straight” to the outside world, but who do not identify as such.
There are also couples that consist of one or two trans people who appear to be gay or lesbian to the outside world, but who do not identify as such. Yes, we mess up your categories a little bit. We do it on purpose to annoy you.
2. It is assumed that we don’t have sex. Since many non-trans people seem to be unusually (and unreasonably) concerned about our genitals and can’t seem to fathom what they might look like or how they might work, they assume that they don’t work at all, or that we somehow don’t have them, like a Barbie or Ken doll, or that we’re just not into sex (maybe we’re just not into you, but that’s a different thing entirely).
Stories from decades ago about some trans person who lost his or her ability to have an orgasm after surgery take on mythical proportions, and they’re still floated around the campfire as if this were a commonplace occurrence and that we don’t care about such things. Give me another shot of testosterone and I’ll tell you how asexual I am.
3. We deny our own sexuality. Transsexual has the word “sex” in it, and it freaks some people out – including, sometimes, us. We know that this isn’t about sex in “that” sense, but we’re still wary that if we acknowledge the fact that we are sexual beings, others will make it about sex in “that” sense.
And those of us raised in the United States, and probably many other places as well, have been socialized into a culture that doesn’t like to talk about sex or bodies anyway, so those of us with a transsexual body or a troubled relationship with our body are sometimes reluctant to recognize or accept our sexual self. I have lived a long time and seen a lot of bodies – believe me, having a transsexual one is the least of my worries.
We all have a sexual orientation – trans and non-trans. It might have a label and it might not. We might claim it and we might not. We might act on it and we might not. But it’s there, and when it becomes invisible, it can prevent us from becoming completely self-actualized and whole.
To be sexual is human. To partake is divine. But regardless, we can’t let a significant piece of ourselves (no pun intended) go missing. We need to acknowledge our sexuality and we need to insist that others do as well.
That doesn’t mean that we have to date them – it just means we have to make sure they get their surveys right.
Thoughts?
It’s constantly frustrating to have to keep explaining to people that transgender is not my sexual orientation. When I first came out at work, I asked whether gender identity and expression was one of the legally protected statuses under their policy, and I was told it was included under homosexuality. Wrong answer! They were confused when I told them it’s not the same thing at all, but eventually they did include it. These surveys you mention are mosty a waste, it seems. But as frustrating as it is, we HAVE to keep explaining it and correcting them if we’re to be counted.
I don’t know why I take surveys, but I always think there’s some merit. There usually isn’t.
And I know that a chunk of the problem with the sexual orientation thing is being the T in LGBT. I am still in favor of it, but … I increasingly see the problems inherent in it.
Having been a part of the LGB community in a past life and identifying as straight now, makes it confusing as to why the T needs to be included? Maybe the LGB needs to become part of larger community that includes a wider range of diversity instead of trying to Force the T in a place it may not belong. Not that I disagree on your argument of why the T should be included, but it seems like it is time to expand the cause and make it about MORE than sexual orientation! JMHO
I may fit in under #3.
I have realized that as long as my body feels wrong – which it will do forever – I won’t be able to enjoy sex. So I choose not to have sex. For me, that’s the best option.
It’s easier to pretend that I’m not interested in sex or relationships at all, than to explain all this to people I barely know and who probably wouldn’t understand it anyway, or to communicate attraction to a person and then say “no, I don’t want to have sex with you”. The asexual facade makes things less complicated.
So it’s not really about denying my sexuality but handling a bad situation in the best possible way.
Fighting for a minority’s rights is a tough job. When one’s rights are trampled, it is because some groups or individuals believe the minority in question should not have those rights that are being claimed, and act upon those assumptions. They resist the demands of the minority groups. Being heard and bringing about change regarding those matters is what advocacy groups do, and to do so, the group in question has to have interest and experience with the issues.
The inclusion of the T in the LGB acronym can only bring about confusion. Trans and gay issues are completely separate, completely different matters. I don’t understand what the T is doing there, with LGB… Human rights issues regarding my sexual orientation don’t have anything in common with human rights issues pertaining to my trans nature, if only that both are trampled in some very important places. People advocating for the gay and lesbian communities have interest in knowledge about that, gay and lesbian issues, not trans issues. It has been demonstrated again and again, LGB “T” groups don’t advocate for the trans for the obvious reasons, as proven once again with the survey cited in your article.
It still puzzles me as to why you, and I quote, “argue for our inclusion whenever [you] can. And [] still believe that it is appropriate and necessary”. I wonder if you insist on the inclusion of the T in the LGB simply because you are gay and an advocate. I’m not an advocate, but I’m bi, and really don’t see how I could “ask” of the gay and lesbian advocacy group to work on advocating for trans issues. To me it’s as disparate as asking feminist groups to advocate for trans issues, asking cancer advocacy groups to advocate for trans issues.
Insisting on including the T in the LGB is shooting ourselves in the foot. We want trans issues to be heard and dealt with, we want to see political and social change in regards to trans issues, we want to see education being provided on these matters. Insisting that the homosexual community take on trans issues is ludicrous. First off because of the lack of interest they have in the matter, and second off, and more importantly so, their lack in knowledge and experience with it. It’s like fighting for our rights to be heard by the LGB community so the LGB community take on our plights and advocate for the trans. Don’t we want things done right? Why do we keep on living in other people’s shade?
It’s certainly not the first time you bring on this issue here on your blog. Though we’ve read that you insist on having the T in the LGB, I don’t recall hearing your argument as a whole as to why the T should be included with the LGB. I’m sure your experience as an advocate had you lecture on the matter before. This might warrant a follow-up post entirely.
I basically agree with americantransman, below, who says that the T belongs in LGBT because it is an issue of gender expression.
The bolded words “I argue for our inclusion” in the post above is a link to a post where I break this down in a little more detail, but for me, it’s not about sexual orientation – it’s about gender expression. I believe that we are all discriminated against because of our gender expression – that is the commonality that we share.
In addition, I think that all human rights arguments are linked. The obvious link is that there are LGB and trans people in every population, but it goes deeper than that.
For example, I personally do think that feminist groups should advocate for trans rights, and I think that trans people (and GLB people) should advocate for women’s rights. I believe that misogyny is the basis not only for sexism, but for transphobia and homophobia.
I think that immigrant rights are linked to gay and lesbian rights, because gay and lesbian people cannot legally marry an immigrant partner, as straight people can. The anti-immigrant law in Arizona is linked to trans issues because it has to do with assumptions based on appearance. Racial profiling has to do with assumptions based on appearance.
And I think that cancer advocacy groups should advocate for trans people and trans people should advocate for people with cancer, and not just because trans people get cancer, too, just like everybody else. It has to do with the availability of health care and appropriate medical treatment for everyone.
And it’s not just these links (which I think could go on and on). To me, it’s a matter of equal treatment for every person. I believe that marginalization of any group is a threat to everyone’s rights and that it diminishes us as people.
But I think there are far-reaching relationships between what appear on the surface to be very disparate groups. That’s just my take on it, but that’s an overview of my position. I don’t know if that answers your question or not, but maybe it sheds some light on my thinking.
It seems worth pointing out that some people (trans and cis) are, in fact, asexual. “To be sexual is human” made me cringe a little bit, because to be non-sexual is also human, and I’m sure it’s not what you meant but it feels a little like you said non-sexual or asexual people are not human. [kinda like when people say “bio guy/gal” rather than “cis guy/gal” has that feeling of insinuating that trans people aren’t biological/real/human without outright saying it].
I’m annoyed at the survey’s format, but I wonder if it’s content/purpose was only about sexual minorities. Maybe it wasn’t actually relevant to straight trans people. Having worked at an LGBT organization, I know that sometimes they just drop the ball and sometimes they’re just looking for really specific information for a certain purpose and they (again) drop the ball in explaining why that is to the survey takers. I’ve certainly seen LGBT organizations put out trans-specific surveys that were not inclusive of cis people, and it seemed entirely appropriate even though some cis LGB people were excluded. In short – I’d like to know what they were planning to do with the survey results and how they marketed it to survey takers before I pass judgment. At the same time, I am please that somebody complained and that it got fixed. And the fact that it got fixed makes me think it was relevant to straight trans people.
Also, assuming that they were interested in sexual minorities (at the very least) – I really wonder if asexual was an option on the survey, as that option also frequently gets left out entirely.
All in all though – I like your post. I have seen the sexual orientation of trans people ignored many times by LGBT organizations and surveys – particularly straight trans people, and it’s extremely frustrating.
I can’t really decide if I think it’s better to keep the LGBT together or split it into to two different groups/movements. LGBA with T separate seems more appropriate than LGBT to me. Regardless, though, I think it’s really dishonest when groups or organizations claim to be addressing LGBT issues when really they’re only addressing LGB issues. People/organizations really ought to be more honest with themselves and their supporters.
To be sexual is human, but to be non-sexual is also human, just as you said. I didn’t mean for the concepts to be mutually exclusive. I was just doing a take on “To err is human, to forgive divine.” It just came into my head when I was writing.
I didn’t go into the survey in depth, because I think this is a decent organization and I didn’t really want to call them out – I just wanted to use this as an example. But in my mind, if someone wants to survey sexual minorities or sexually marginalized groups, they should just call it that, and not call it an LGBT survey, because not all trans people would fall into the category of being marginalized because of their sexual orientation, and not all sexually marginalized groups would fall under the category of LGBT, as you also point out.
And you bring up an excellent point, because I’m not sure if I have seen any surveys or intake forms that list asexuality as an option under sexual orientation – or if I have, it’s certainly rare. So thanks for pointing that out, because that has to be just as frustrating as the things that I complain about, and I would think that it would feel just as dismissive.
The “T” is included in LGB because it is about gender expression. Discrimination against people expressing gender in a non-conforming way, whether it be feminine gay men, butch lesbians or trans people, is what links the communities. The problem is that many people within the the LGB community don’t get that.
As for the disappearing sexuality of trans people, I tend to not talk about my sexuality with non-trans people because they confuse it with gender, so I wonder if that sort of thing is a contributing factor.
Whats the big deal about SEX, isnt it more just too be excepted as a person…..2010 has been a good year . No one has a problem with me I work as a Truckie Female and no one cares. I feel sad for people that are still having problems, I thought that things where getting better for us GLBTI…..
Cheers
PS maby its time we all worked out why we are transexual,is it because we like the sex ?is it because our minds and body dont match?is it because we mayby gay and want to justify it by crossdressing, maybe the whole lot. ?ect ect ect ,I am just glad I worked out what my problem was and now I am free to be a normal human being.
PS on the PS I believe its becoming easier not harder
Jokingly, I often use transexual as my sexual identity simply because I am dating a transguy and am usually ridiculously attracted to transpeople.
I think we spend too much time wondering whether trans is a part of LGB or not, as though it has to be either 100% equivalent or else it’s 0% equivalent. It’s different experiences and perspectives, but with a very significant overlap in many areas. We are not the same, but just the same, we are not easily separated. Lesbian experiences are not identical to gay male experiences either, nor genderqueer to transsexual. When we play the boundary game, we lose our strength as a unified voice for equality. But we do have to acknowledge that there are some differences, and find frameworks to accommodate them in the larger whole.
You wrote:
It is not common, but it is a risk of male-to-female HRT. There is some loss at the time of orchie / single-stage GRS, but it is actually the T-blockers that cause most of the loss. I’m speaking as someone who lost more than the ability to orgasm (which happened before GRS). TThis is something I attribute to several years of taking Androcur (which I don’t recommend unless someone is going to be on it less than two years, preferably not at all). Don’t get me wrong — if I had to choose between transition and sex, then I did what I needed most; however, I was rather fond of it, so am not giving up just yet.
Anyway, the point is, yes, it’s rare, but people do need to know that it is a risk, and just what really causes it.
I should also add that while I don’t consider myself asexual, there are asexuals in the trans community as well, and for more varied reasons than being sex-negative. That’s cool. I don’t think you meant to generalize about them too, but I thought it should be mentioned.
BTW, I’ve been very impressed by your blog.
I think the loss of orgasm still can happen, on occasion, with surgery, and thanks for letting us know about another way that it can happen. With the improvements in surgery, the risks are just not as commonplace.
And I could be very wrong about this, but I think, for the most part, for trans people who need to transition, the possibility of losing the ability to have an orgasm would not be a major consideration, given that the alternative to transition is often suicide and transition is a medical necessity. Orgasms are nice but can be overrated, and intimacy can happen in many ways without them. Non-trans people also face this risk with certain life-saving surgeries and medications.
I didn’t mean to generalize about asexuality. It was meant as a joke about me, specifically. I don’t really see asexuality as sex negative as much as I see an asexual person as a person who, for whatever reason, does not participate in sexual interactions and/or does not have a physical attraction to other people. I know some people who identify as asexual who have self-sexual activity and others who don’t. So I have come to see it as varied, anyway, based on the people I know.
Thank you for your compliment on my blog and thank you for commenting and providing that information.
I was just about to complain about your statement “To be sexual is human.” But someone beat me to it.
I would like to mention, as an autistic asexual person, I get people implying I’m not human a lot. And in the history of autism, people not seeing us as human has cost some autistics their lives. So please be careful about implying that any characteristic that is not shared by all humans is defining of humanity.