Every 10 years, my little graduating class (about 200) from Spencer High School (in Spencer, Iowa) has a class reunion. I’ve been to all of them — three so far, since I graduated in 1972.
At the 10- and 20-year, I was a female, and at the 20-year, I was an unfortunate female, because I had colored my hair and it turned out bright burgundy. On top of that, I had a perm, so it was bright burgundy frizz — sort of like a wine cooler gone bad.
In 2002, I went to my 30-year class reunion as a male. I was skeptical. This was a small town in the middle of the northwest Iowa farming community, and even though Iowa has a much more conservative reputation that it deserves, Spencer has never been a bastion of liberalism. Although many of my classmates had left for greener (and larger) pastures, many had stayed behind on the already-established pastures of the area.
I had warned them. I told the reunion committee about my transition when I filled out the advance questionnaire that they sent. But not everyone would read the little reunion book before they ran into me, and even with advance notice, I wondered how people would respond.
I had a lot of scenarios in my mind, from hostility to ostracism, because why not work up a good drama before anything actually happens? But when I got there, I found out that I had basically underestimated just about everyone.
Certainly, I was a curiosity to some. And I couldn’t help but think that the “Most Changed Since High School” award that had been given at the previous two reunions was left out on my account (people might have complained that it was rigged). But they all couldn’t have been more friendly.
The reunion committee had made badges for everyone with our high school yearbook photo and name at graduation. They also wrote Matt on mine and assured me that I didn’t have to wear it at all if I wasn’t comfortable, but of course, I wore it.
The gossip at first was that the whole thing was a prank, but that soon subsided. Those who really knew me in high school knew that I wasn’t nearly creative enough to pull off something like that. The fact is that it was both a big deal and a very little deal.
These people were no longer the high school kids that I knew. These were adults. They had lives. They had friends there who they wanted to see, and interests that they wanted to talk about. While it’s true that I got some attention — some people talked to me who wouldn’t have even looked my way in the halls of Spencer High School (I was not particularly popular back then) — I was not the main attraction. I was just one of those people who had changed an awful lot.
If I make it to 2012, I will go back for the 40th. At each reunion, the memorial table has more and more photos displayed, and someday mine will probably be there as well.
My surviving classmates will probably look at my high school yearbook photo on the memorial table with the others and someone will say, “I remember her.” Someone else will say, “Didn’t she become a guy?” And someone else will say, “Jennifer who?” And that will be my legacy at Spencer High School.
If you have transitioned, have you gone to your reunion at some point afterward? What happened?
(Photo: my high school yearbook photo)
I agree with Angel that you look great now & did in as I refer to my time before. you were beautiful in your past life.
As for class reunions. I have gone to all but the 5 year and the one that was just last month. It wasn’t a real reunion. One of my classmates realized that no one else had put anything together so he sent message through classmates to meet at a bar. I too grew up in a small town in that state that is North East of you across the Mississippi. I always was “different”so my evolution didn’t surprise too many. the 10’th reunion was in 1984. I was one of those who jumped for the chance to show androgyny. So when I wore makeup & had clothes on from both the male & female sides of the store I really didn’t stick out any more than I had in high school with my long hair, love beads, psychedelic patterned bell bottoms that were as big across the bottom as some of the skirts I wear now. My 25th reunion I was on the verge of transition but I’m sure that if you asked my former classmates I had already started. My hair was still long & I wore a kilt like skirt. There were a few odd looks & quite a few people talked to me about their siblings who were gay or lesbian. Old girlfriends were either politely friendly or flirtatious. I kind of wish I had gotten to this one before it clsoed down. We were in the middle of a ride to support the local AIDS Support Network & rushed the hours drive from where we were that night to the reunion. My transman fiancée was with me & I do think I look good. It would have been fun flirting with my former girlfriends even more now. As is we had a few drinks danced a little & the people there saw another middle aged couple where the guy is cute & the gal is a tall blonde both dressed wonderfully.
Thanks to both of you for your kind words. The truth is that I was much more attractive a female than I am as a male, but I had a lot of help from Mary Kay, Revlon, and Maybelline. Nowadays, I just have to hope that all my hair doesn’t fall out.
I’m sorry, but I just have to say it… you were really cute as a girl! (And quite attractive as a man too)
I went to my 10- and 20-year reunions as a male. We didn’t have a 30. However, I’ve become reacquainted with many of my old schoolmates online, and they don’t seem to have any problem accepting me as I am today. In fact, one of the ladies even remarked that she wishes I could have been a girl back then, because of all of the fun we could have had together.
You had such beautiful brunette hair! I never went to my HS reunions. After I graduated I lived along denial without a forwarding address.
It must have been interesting to see your class mates reactions to your transition, but I would question your statement about your creativity since I am constantly amazed by your writing. BTW thanks for your latest article highlighting such positive role models! As usual I am inspired! Thanks for all you do Matt!